I was 5 when I was introduced to the sport of gymnastics. I don’t remember much about my first day in the gym, but something must have happened inside my little body to make me love and desire it for the rest of my life.
Gymnastics is a sport that takes a certain type of personality. Gymnasts must have an impeccable work ethic, crave perfection, have a love/hate relationship with fear, and the ability to push their bodies past the point of perceived limitations.
Gymnasts put in hundreds of hours of work preparing for the opportunity to put themselves on a stage to have every aspect of their performance watched, scrutinized, picked apart, and judged, and yet, gymnasts wouldn’t want it any other way.
Gymnastics is like being in an unfair relationship, it takes way more than it gives back to the gymnast, and whatever it needs from us gymnasts, we give it. When it does give back, it gives us feelings that reach straight into our souls. The little tastes of success are enough to keep us working, and get us addicted.
I needed gymnastics, I needed to feel the highs of catching my first release move and the lows of mistakes and falls. I craved for the emotional rollercoaster and gymnastics never failed to give that to me everyday I walked into the gym.
I was willing to give anything to gymnastics and I was willing to give everything. My addiction had me focused mostly on my immediate gratification. As long as I could perform my skills, I was willing to ignore the advice from my Doctor. When my Doctors told me to take time off of gymnastics to heal, I didn’t. I pushed myself and worked in pain, and when I could’t handle the pain, I begged the Doctor to help. I begged for something to help ease my pain and so against my Doctors advice, I made them give me Cortisone shots in my ankles and wrists.
At the end of my career, my Doctor made me sign waivers that stated I understood that there could be long term damage from the shots and my Doctor advised me against the treatment. I had no problems signing the waivers, I never thought about the future of my body, I only cared about being able to do gymnastics with less pain.I knew my gymnastics was more important than my body.
Gymnasts have this mentality of; Whatever I need to do, I will do it. We know gymnastics is difficult and we want it to be difficult. Whatever is put in our path, we accept it, and do it. We don’t ask questions.
There wasn’t much I wouldn’t do to make the Olympics. When I needed to lose a little weight, I took the cheap and easy way out. Bulimia was my little secret. I was Bulimic for about a year and a half before the Olympics. I only threw up after I knew I ate too much, I still had energy for my workouts and routines, and I always thought of my Bulimia as something that I needed to do to achieve my goal. It was a small price to pay to be thin.
About six months before the Olympics someone caught me. I was confronted by this adult and they told me that they knew. I remembered being terrified, I didn’t want to be put in treatment or therapy, I didn’t have time to worry about my eating disorder. I had the Olympics to focus on, and I really didn’t have time to deal with anything more.
This adult told me that they knew about my eating disorder and they said, “Just don’t do it too much.”
I was so relieved that they didn’t want to send me to treatment or therapy. I knew that I would miss out on my chance on being an Olympian. This was exactly the response I wanted. I shook my head and promised not to do it too much, and walked away in relief.
To me, Bulimia was something I was willing to sacrifice for the chance of my dreams. I was never upset at this adult for not doing more or forcing me to go into therapy. I was fine with their passive and non confronitiatal advice on my disorder. I knew that they didn’t want to ruin my dream, and they didn’t want to be the one who spoke up and destroyed the 14 years of training I devoted my childhood to. They understood the Cult Culture of Gymnastics and so did I.
What message did that send to me? Was Gymnastics more important that an eating disorder? Was Gymnastics more important than Me?
This may seem inconceivable now, but this is not uncommon with this cult culture thinking in gymnastics, and it isn’t just gymnasts that are drinking the Kool-Aid.
The cult culture of Gymnastics convinces gymnasts that there is nothing more important than their gymnastics. This thinking creates a mindset of knowing that they will sacrifice, they will abide, they will do what they are told, they will always come second, and they will only be valuable if they succeed.
It convinces parents to turn a blind eye to questionable coaches, misconduct, overtraining, or allowing their children to be mistreated. The parent who watches the coach punish their child with 12 rope climbs, 3 minute handstands, 1 hour of running laps, or spending an entire workout on beam, knows something isn’t right, but they allow it to happen.
This cult culture of thinking extends to coaches as well. If they must yell, harass, punish, embarrass, belittle, or bully their gymnasts to get results, they will. Their mindset is “This is what the gymnasts need to achieve their goals. They come to me as a coach, because they know I get results. If it works, It must be right.”
The gymnasts are willing to sacrifice, and they are willing to be mistreated or abused to achieve their goals. Many times they don’t even know they shouldn’t be abused. The parents watch their children be harassed, punished, embarrassed, belittled, or bullied by the coach, and they are willing to overlook this treatment to let their child achieve their dreams. The parents become accustomed to the cult culture thinking that this is how phenomenal gymnasts are made, so they let it happen.
If the parents let this happen, it must be okay. The abuse must be needed for success. The success must be important.
We must get out of this cult!
As a gymnastics community, do we look out for the wellbeing of the gymnast, the child? Do we look the other way when we see parents put gymnastics before their kids? Do we walk away when we see coaches use harsh and borderline abusive coaching techniques? Do we accept this as just a part of coaching? Do we justify this behavior as just the way things are done? Or do we do more?
Gymnastics was more important than me. My performance was more important than me. The Olympics was more important that ANYTHING. I was fine with this thinking, but who was looking out for me?
When the gymnasts, parents, coaches, and the gymnastics community send the message that gymnastics is more important then the wellbeing of the gymnast, what happens when gymnastics is over. When everyone is watching and cheering for a successful outcome, who is left to watch out for their wellbeing?
Where do we draw the line? When is too much, too much? When do we stand up for ourselves and what is right?
It is easy to see how gymnastics has not gotten to this point of abuse all by itself, we have let it slip through out hands into a cesspool of skewed thinking. We have let ourselves be blinded by the dreams of success rather than understand the ramifications of our decisions. We all sacrificed way more than we needed to for gymnastics.
The bottom line is that NOTHING is more important than the health of a child. No skills, routine, meet, medal, or trophy is more important than the child. Gymnastics will end one day, then what will the gymnast, coach, and parents be left with?
We must stand together as a gymnastics community and demand change. We must look at the parents and ask them why they allow their kids to be harassed, punished, embarrassed, belittled, or bullied by their coach? We must look at the coaches and ask them why they want to send the message to their gymnasts that their performance is more important than their health? We must look to the gymnasts and tell them that they are so much more than gymnasts.
We must do better. Gymnastics is not life, it is only a sport.
For more information on Mental Training or Advice from 1992 Olympian Wendy Bruce, 
visit the website www.psyched4sports.com. Also check out Amazon.com for her book, Breaking Through a Mental Block.
Get Psyched! 
Thank you for this. We needed this article 3p years ago so that kids never had to go through the things so many of you endured. They needed coaches and parents who put their kids first, not gymnastics. I tell my kids all the time to care for themselves. Their bodies have a lot of life to endure after sports.
We weren’t ready for it then. Sometimes were so deep inside the Cult, we don’t even know were in it.
We weren’t ready for it yet. Sometimes we are so deep inside the cult, we don’t even know we are in it.
Hi Wendy, thank you for this, you are spot on. I am a parent of Gymnasts, yes that is plural. My personal experiences with this sport dictate a “cult” type environment. The word “cult” is controversial as it is but we know what you are talking about. When I read your article I was happy to find another person sharing an honest inside view. I think the biggest issue is a lack of generally accepted best practices, policies and procedures that all gyms, coaches and participants could adhere to. Another problem with the sport is a lack of oversight. Sure there are good clubs, good coaches and good people in the sport but there are others that just do not realize the harm they are causing to the sport, the athletes, and most of all children. The parents have to take some blame here, they are the adults in the room and they pay the bills. I don’t know if the parents are blind, they don’t care, or they are delusional but there is something wrong. I have spoken to many parents on this topic and many don’t see the problem. I have been advocating for better at the state, regional and now federal level. And now with recent allegations, the legislators are listening and so is the national organizational body. Now is the time to fix it, we can’t change the past, but we can make the future better. Please continue with your voice and make the calls to the organizations and legislators that can help drive the change. Your personal experiences have great value, I thank you for sharing and telling others, you are a hero.
Excellent, excellent thoughts!! As a former gymnast, coach, mother of gymnasts, and now a judge, I have seen my share of poor choices, questionable coaching, and parents who either are too involved or turn a blind eye. Gymnastics has consumed me my whole life and it saddens me to see a fun, beautiful sport often turned into such a priority that it strips away the precious moments of an athlete’s young life.
How dare you take something like that from a site and interpret the parent’s agenda. You have no idea what the thought process of the parent or gymnast was. You are what’s wrong with this sport. Stop being judgmental and find a way to support parents and gymnasts.
I did edit the article and took out anything was too harsh on the parent. My intention was not to hut them. I apologize for that.
Unfortunately you are spot on. Wendy, do you ever ask yourself would you feel the same way if you hadn’t made the Olympic Team? I do. And truly you could probably never fully answer simply b/c you did make it. Some parents will NEVER be able to see inside this cult mindset that we become part of. It is super hard to explain our twisted mentality to the norm.
Kelly Garrison Funderburk , 1988 Olympian
Yes. I do think its’s a hard situation.There is no easy answer, but we do just need to make sure we always look out for the athletes regardless out what level or the outcome.
Kelly
Great question!
Such a great and necessary article!! Gymnastics was everything to me and I can remember easily ignoring drs telling me i needed to have surgery on my foot and to take time off etc and thinking they dont know anything just listen to my coach and thats what i did ….crazy thinking back now how little i listened to my body( i wasnt taught how to) or my friends and family i just focused on my goals and did what my coaches said! I look back and see now had i listened to those drs I prob wouldn’t have broken my leg but who knows:/!! Thanks so much for sharing this Wendy and I am a big fan of yours:)!!
This is not our experience other than the description of gymnast personalities. Our gym takes care of the gymnast like family and we are one of the top gyms in the country! I don’t like the way you are portraying Gymnastics as if it always like this, it’s NOT!
That’s great! Of course not all gyms, coaches, parents, and gymnasts are bad. I am very happy that your gym is doing it right!!
Anyone with any semblance of comprehension understands that Wendy’s article was not all-inclusive. Your harsh criticism of her experience, and that of hundreds of other gymnasts, is a bit shallow and self-righteous. Good for you that you have a good gym! Consider yourself lucky. My daughter has been in two different gyms, and they were both EXACTLY like this article. The coaches were abusive, and the parents were not willing to say anything about it (well…except to each other in the watch room). It is a pervasive issue in the gymnastics culture, and this article is SPOT ON. Even Simone’s coach is starting a group (Coaches for the Ethical Treatment of Athletes). Just because you haven’t had a similar experience does not give you the right to trivialize the issue. Try doing a little more research on the subject before you pontificate about something of which you know nothing.
I agree with Renee. Your reply is unnecessarily defensive. Just because your gym does things right (which is awesome!) doesn’t mean all gyms do. I recall reading this quote sometime last year and was reminded of it here: “Privilege is when you think something is not a problem because it’s not a problem to you personally.” Obviously this scenario is different in that it’s not dealing with racial issues, as that quote was, but the same principle applies. Just because you are fortunate enough or have worked hard enough to create a healthy, positive environment doesn’t mean the negative ones aren’t still prevalent.
You’re spot-on here Wendy! Although I was in the sport many years ago, reading this article brought it all back! I turned down a full athletic scholarship to USC because I wanted my life back and the mental and physical abuse to stop, and I have no regrets. Hope some changes come sooner than later for all the gymnasts and their dreams!
Powerful essay, thank you for sharing your thoughts. I, too, was in love with gymnastics when I was young, and it was a great outlet for my bounce-off-the-walls energy levels. But when I was just 8 or 9, some weird intuition made me step back and quit. I was just starting to learn back flips from a mat onto the floor, and I gave myself a bloody nose b/c my knees weren’t far apart enough. Sounds like not that big a deal… I was fine and kept working that day. But soon after, I quit. It was like I could anticipate the pressure and unhealthy attitudes that would soon come my way (if I wasn’t already feeling them). I just remember having a general uneasiness about pursuing it, even though I loved gymnastics in its purest form of movement. I don’t regret my decision; I started ballet at age 10 and knew from my first class that it was what I was meant to do — of course, ballet has similar inherent dysfunctions, and breeds perfectionism and self-doubt just like gymnastics — but I always wonder what would have become of me had I continued in gymnastics. Maybe that spark of intuition saved me from a painful journey, who knows.
So are you saying that if you had the chance to do it all over again you would not. There was no reward in the achievements and life experiences that you had. I guess its very difficult as a parent to decide when enough is enough. I absolutely feel we need to advocate for and support our children, but it is so hard to take away their dreams when the decision is not coming from them. Especially if they have a shot at achieving their goals. Many times there are so few choices of qualified gyms and as one of your readers pointed out, the culture is the same there. Trust me as a parent it is a constant struggle and one many of us do not take lightly.
I would absolutely do it all again. I had great coaches, parents, and support. I love my life now and am the person I am today because of what I have learned along the way.
I never really thought about this the way you explained it. I was a competive gymnast. So I pretty much knew the gymnastic world. However when I put my girls in gymnastics one was five one was three. The five year old was immediately put on the team. I was in shock because that is something I had never seen in the gymnastic world. Can you imagine never ever been in and first practice get asked to be on the competitive team? Well she practiced with the team each day but when the competition season rolled around she did not want to compete. She was scared I went many rounds with coaches not to push her so hard. I was very much aware of burnout. My other daughter had her first meet at five. I will tell you my girls have gotten kicked out of more gyms. Because I refused to let them practice if they were injured. I would have the doctor release them from his care a week after they released them from care and not one doctor questioned my reasoning however I did get the repetation as a promatic mother to coaches. I questioned everything I don’t remember how many times I was told I’m the coach don’t worry about it. But when I pushed harder I became every coaches mother that has an attitude. The biggest secret in the gymnastic world is the parents are not suppose to question the coaches and not to ask questions. What the parents don’t know will only make their gymnasts stronger. I also learned that if another parents ask you questions and you try to explain it to them you will definitely be called in the next practice to a meeting with the coaches. I could go on but I don’t think I have enough space. Parents out there for your little gymnasts don’t just drop your gymnast off at the gym stay with your gymnast ask questions otherwise sooner or later you are going to get the call your daughter is hurt we think she should go to the doctor. That’s one of the reasons coaches hate me I stay all four hours of practice if one of my children get hurt I’m going to see it with my own eyes not just what the coaches tell me. I hope this helps at least one person out there.
I think it needs to be a combination of parent, coach, and gymnast all looking out for each other. The Gymnastics Culture is changing, slowly, but it is changing. I had great coaches, great parents, and still I had mixed messages.
Hit my thoughts on the spot! Thank you for this article. So, if a parent has to tell their child very much into gymnastics to take a different route and focus more on school and explain other life factors (financial, time, family obligations etc), what’s the best way to get the message into him/her? What’s your suggestion/opinion on this subject? Thanks.
Gymnastics should enhance life, not distract from life or be the only thing important in life. Every choice we make affects something or someone. Family should always be the first choice. Then you decide what sacrifices the family is willing to make. If they are willing to sacrifice other things so gymnastics is a financial option, then everyone in the family must understand that sacrifice. If it is time, family obligation, etc. the family must decide what is most important to them. The decisions are hard, but when they are right, trust you are making the best decision for your family. Not being in the Cult Culture means that you are willing to sacrifice the easy choice for the right choice.
No different with Ukrainian dance. Our youngest came home, tired of being “hit and yelled at”. I literally fell off my chair. I checked his legs and they were bruised. I spoke to our older children, who thought this was “normal”. We were never allowed to watch. I explained to my children that, as a public school teacher, I would lose my job, if I taught like that. We trusted the teacher, and spent many countless hours fundraising, sewing costumes, organizing dance tours worldwide., and in the end, no one was brave enough to support us. . . even friends and cousins on the board. What is wrong with people?
My daughter started gymnastics at the age of 6…..she had a term in beginners and was then put in a development squad. Her first year was wonderful she thrived…she couldn’t get enough of it. Then her coach was moving to another club and my daughter begged to move too. By this stage my daughter was picking up skills at a fast pace…began following an international level……then things began to change 5 years later and I should have moved my daughter when she wanted to quit after a successful state championship…I knew it wasn’t because of not loving her sport but it was her coaches……suddenly these coaches just wanted to win…..the abuse started not letting them have a drink or go to the toilet unless they perfected a skill..the joke was a drink trophy and a toilet trophy apparently…my daughter would come home with abdo pain and sever headaches….we thought it was because she was tired…..it was only after witnessing my daughter being verbally abused in front of other parents and gymnasts and she was on the beam physically shaking and in tears, sobbing the day before the competition…I voiced my concerns but it continued…..then luckily my daughter sprained her ankle and couldn’t compete in State championships. The year before quiet a few gymnasts moved to another club and my daughter saw how happy they were and decided she wanted to move. It was the best move…my daughter began to love her sport again…occasionally stories of the abuse would come out in conversations…unfortunately the damage had been done…..the one apparatus which haunted her was beam and she couldn’t progress with her skills….although she was training 16 hours a week…..she became sick..at first there was talk of chronic fatigue…later on it was discovered it was a result of anxiety she had been fighting since the age of 11. Her previous coaches had instilled you don’t show emotion….no crying no being scared and if you don’t do well we will ignore you. My daughter is now 18…she retired from gymnastics at the age of 16 because of fatigue but was because of underlying anxiety. She to this day regrets not achieving her goal of level 7 and going to Nationals. Her anxiety has become a real issue at school and in daily living…..she has anxiety attacks when she is compared to someone else, if her teachers show disappointment in something she gets really upset…..she continues to be a perfectionist in everything she does……..I now wish when my daughter said she wanted to quit at the age of 11 that we had really looked into why and moved her. To this day I wish I could confront these coaches and show them the damage they have caused because the happy, confident daughter who began gymnastics at the age of 6 is no longer. Her days are filled with anxiety and the need to see a psychologist so she can finish her schooling. I hope one of these coaches are reading this as it was not only my daughter who was left with issues a whole group. I am forever grateful to one of the coaches at her new club suggested my daughter seek help because I think she saved her life because without help I don’t think my daughter would be alive today………..so yes we need to change the culture of gymnastics. 🙂
It is such a difficult situation, because as a parent we sometimes feel like “if our child wants to do gymnastics, this gym is their only choice” We must either accept this coaching or quit gymnastics. In any other situation us parents wouldn’t allow our children to be treated that way, but for some reason we allow coaches to do it. And its not just gymnastics, in all sports. We accept the culture and become blinded by it. It is hard to get out, and only once we are out can we look back and see how brainwashed we were. I am glad she was able to have great coaches in the end, and hopefully she will be able to realize that she is amazing.
I think this strictness I’m reading about here is an old country outlook on life; not so much how a sport is being coached. The experiences here resonantes with me. They recall for me my strict catholic school upbringing. The experience of being compared to other kids and the parents believing the teacher and not the kids was a common theme “back in the day”. Can gym be taught with a modern outlook, no so much old school attitudes?
I really appreciate your post and totally agree that the adults need to be the adults in these situations and look out for gymnasts’ welfare, especially because gymnasts are typically so driven and willing to do whatever it takes. Also, kids aren’t always capable of appreciating the long term effects of what they’re doing to their bodies, which is where adults should be coming in to help protect them and seeing the long term when kids can’t. One thing that really surprised me, though, is your calling bulimia “the cheap and easy way out”. Eating disorders are neither cheap nor easy, but rather, serious & life-threatening mental disorders. The rest of your post seems to nod to this, but I just wanted to make a note because I think portraying bulimia as a short cut of sorts reinforces a damaging perception. In any case, thank you again for such great insights from your own experiences.
You are right. That was the point I was trying to make, that I and others had diminished the seriousness of my Bulimia. Bulimia is not a joke, and because of my cult-like thinking, I was able to think of is as something that was no big deal. If I binged or ate the wrong things, I knew I had an easy answer. It was easier to purge than to learn how to eat or get help. Looking back, I am very lucky that I didn’t have a stroke, or choke, lose my teeth, destroy my esophagus, etc. I by no means meant to diminish that eating disorders cam kill, that is also what made this situation so upsetting.
Thanks for sharing your story Wendy, bringing awareness to this topic is crucial for the evolution of the sport and for the safety of our young athletes. I Just wanted you to know I’m personally trying to help gymnasts understand the importance of fitness and nutrition in a healthy way. As a gymnast I was told I was overweight so my young adult life turned into obsessively trying to find perfection in my physique. I use that experience today as fuel for educating parents, coaches and athletes on the importance of balance in food, having fun and also being healthy. Funny how the fundamental core aspect of gymnastics- BALANCE is needed in the culture itself. I think continued awareness and discussion will help the sport evolve and make it an even stronger sport. I am on board!
Thank you for writing this!!
I was a nationally ranked elite gymnast in the early 1980’s and was a hostage of the cult culture. Everyone wanted it more than me and my feelings didnt count, because I had the physical talent. Most of my coaches were focused only on my success, at the national level in an effort, I believe, to make a name for themselves and their gym. My father pushed me to continue, way past the point that I wanted to and he was very uncompassionate when it came missing practice, for any reason. I was not allowed to do ANY other activities outside of gymnastics. I turned down a full ride scholarship to college, because I hated gymnastics that much.
I feel, because it is a sport of perfection, I was taught that I was never good enough and someone being “tough” (aka abusive) on me was normal. That mentality stuck with me and led me down a path of being the victim of domestic violence and having incapacitating emotional troubles. I continued thinking if I just do this or that, they will be happy and it didn’t matter if I was happy.
I’m proud to say, after years of talk therapy, I am emotionally well, but I will always believe the cult culture of gymnastics was a major contributor to my troubles. I’m 49 years old and still have nightmares about gymnastics.
The physical issues I am dealing with, from the years of boot camp type training, are another story.
Thank you again for writing this article. It’s a subject that needs attention, not just in gymnastics, but many youth sports.
Amazing blog, Wendy!
I finally got the chance to read your article. Yes, the “cult” gymnastics is slowly changing but still there with coaches verbally. Tho, I never get far to higher levels but understood the feelings to BE in gymnastics. I had eating disorder, Anorexia, that leads me lots of denial and struggles for years. Finally, 5 years ago-aftermath of MCL/ACL tears, I knew its really over.
Everyone have those moments but can change for better into those todays children. Like those current Olympicans, are showing similar ways but got through to make it on their own.
You do not need to change anything, simple to let parents or gymnasts in the gymnastics world know what they want for their child(ren) or themselves. Proud of you, Wendy!!
Thanks for writing this! Although I am devastated to see that I may well be one of these parents and I guess I need your advice as to how to deal with this, adapt and change.
These coaching ‘techniques’ certainly seem to be the norm in my daughters gym squad. In our club the parents don’t sit in on any training sessions, so the infomation only trickles in from time to time after a bad workout. They have become more apparent since my daughter changed squads though, she is 8 years old (the youngest in A squad) and shows great promise, trains on average 12 hours a week, and regularly has unpleasant comments made to her during training. They started off with little ‘inoffensive’ ones, like “wow if you can’t do that, then you’ll have to go back to rec gym”, or “Hey, I am going to drop you from the group and replace you ….if you don’t do your giants”. These then progressively get worse, like a full session on the beam while the group moves on to the other pieces of apparatus, being told to get changed and sit out the rest of the session on the bench and so on. These phenomenons are not only aimed at my daughter of course, her coach is ‘fair’ (I am being ironic of course!!) making sure most of the group has the same treatment on different days! I have queried the coach before on his methods and still do, but I am pretty much told on each occasion to understand where my place is….. and not to meddle. The words exchanged between the gymnast and the coach are never expressed in the same way to the parent, the ‘edge’ and ‘meanness’ is always removed when the coach talks to the parent. My daughter deals with it all fairly well, she gets frustrated when she can’t make an element work, but rarely stresses once out of the gym. Her attitude is good, the comments roll off her (for the moment) like water off a ducks back. I tell her not to worry, that words are hurtful but that I am proud of her and what she does. Whilst I really do mean it, I guess I am having a harder time managing this than she is. How then, can I as a mom do more to protect her, whilst allowing her to progress and enjoy her gym?
I think the best thing to do is to always protect the athlete. Speak up, speak out, and don’t be afraid to leave. Our culture is going to change and many coaches and gyms have already taken huge steps to insure that change. Hopefully, sooner than later, all gyms will use positive coaching and those who aren’t will be looked down upon.
Love your post.
I was just wondering if you have any tips for doing the front and back hip circle?